Day One. Starting off Fun!

Day one:

As with all diets in the beginning, I’m felt particularly optimistic this morning when I got up, rearing to go. Automatically, I was struck by the first positive of this “bad” diet – in doing it properly, it is forcing me to eat breakfast, which I don’t normally do. Well, unless you count a large soy latte as breakfast which I usually would, but as soy milk is a big no-no on the attack phase of the Dukan – maybe forever, I can’t quite figure that out - I’m being forced to re-evaluate.

Breakfast was a scrambled egg with no additives beyond a tablespoon of milk and a dose of salt. Not too bad. Even though Mr Dukan stresses that one must not stray from any aspect of his menu during the attack phase, or I won’t lose any weight, I made the independent call that the history of bowl issues in my family, and the 3 measly grams of fibre that the Dukan diet allows you in this phase, is an idiotic combination. Moronic. And I’m not sure how anyone can pass a motion on this diet. Big time negative number one, and one I’m not willing to stick to. So I’m tripling the amount of oat bran I can have, and supplementing with Metamucil as well. So there. if the Dukan diet doesn’t work because of psyllium, then I can’t believe it was ever going to. The oatbran was for morning tea, but I wasn’t organised enough to have bought yoghurt yet, so it’s still sitting in my bag.

Interesting observation, first off, is how hungry I feel. I skipped morning tea, but I skip morning tea every day, which means I don’t generally eat until lunch time. But I’ve had breakfast, and I’m feeling the starvation-like symptoms of kick starting my metabolism and having nothing to back it up with! A colleague has already tried to offer me chocolate and a muesli bar but so far, I’m still on track. Go me! Looking forward to my tuna and yoghurt – which I will buy – for lunch. Then steak and more oat bran! I never eat steak, so I’m looking forward to the treat, actually!

On the low point, I have a bit of a headache now, which I know is down to my sudden and insane caffeine deprivation – total cold turkey. I don’t think I’ve started a day without a good strong coffee – maybe two – in a decade. This, people, is quite symbolic of my determination to properly review this diet. I am giving up my vice! I must be more mental than I thought!

It all sounds horrible, doesn’t it? But this is the attack phase. I’m not quite sure why you have to only eat protein for three days (up to ten depending on your projected weight loss), but I’m not here to question, just to eat and observe. In three days, I’ll be munching on vegetables every other day and in 100 days, I can eat fruit and bread. And pasta. And even go out for dinner twice a week! Imagine that.

On paper, by the time I get to that 100 day mark, I’ll actually be eating quite normally for someone who eats a healthy diet.

It’s just that getting to the 100 day mark is going to be the challenge!