My name is Collette, and this is my story:
I’ve never been really thin, and I don’t want to be – I was quite happy with the way it all portioned itself out, but up until a few months ago, I was happy with my body: I was in healthy weight range, and I fit into a lot of really nice clothes. I really like clothes! But then a few months ago, a few things happened simultaneously:
1. Life got nasty, so I took off to the Continent for three months of therapeutic eating. It was fantastic. I got to hide all of my emotional problems in gigantic bowls of gelati and massive servings of spaghetti carbonara. The real stuff, which is a trillion squared times better than the fake stuff you get over here! And crème brulee.
2. I came back fully expecting to be over it, and realised I was not. In fact, I hadn’t even begun to process anything; I’d simply run away. But I’d sure fallen in love with the idea that food solves everything.
3. I put on more weight after returning than I did in three months abroad. Probably double. And this means that a lot of my kilos cannot be blamed on the simple deliciousness of France or Italy, but on chips and Cadbury chocolate bars. Which is just a waste!
But I feel like I can let go of the food, now, and maybe try a little experimenting. And today’s experiment is going to be The Dukan Diet.
Don’t get me wrong, here. Whilst I am – like everyone – out for a quick fix, I also realise I’m probably setting myself up for failure in this one. The Dukan Diet is practically an all protein blowout that seems unsustainable in the long run. But at the moment, I’m being battered by this diet in many forms:
- My friends are doing it.
- My parents’ friends are doing it.
- Kate Middleton did it! (And I do love a good princess!)
- I want to fit into a new dress that I’ve never worn since five minutes after I bought it, I started eating mayonnaise like it was going out of style!
- I need something new to write about. This could be interesting, if I get the perfect mix of cynicism and willingness to keep going!
Basically, if I fail, that’s ok. I’m pretty sure I can just go back to healthy eating and leave it at that. But I would like to chart my progress on this controversial diet. The specifications I’ve been given by the highly dubious “official” website claim I’ll lose a hell of a lot of weight in 6 weeks – I can’t even see how it’s possible; let alone do I actually want to! Their idea of my healthy weight is not mine!
So, welcome to “Super-Shrink Me!” In which every day, I will chart what I am doing, how I am going, how I am feeling giving up my last real crutch ... and if it actually works?!
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